Good morning people! BlackStar here. Yes, once again it is Game Theory Monday and, as you can see, we shall be investigating the theories behind the 2008 game Sonic Unleashed. There are so many things wrong with the game that I had to do a theory on it, the theory being if the world would actually survive the chaos that happens to it in the game. So, let's get started!
As always, before we actually start the review, I usually have to explain what the game is about. In Sonic Unleashed, Sonic has to once again stop Dr. Eggman from taking over the world. Eggman plans on using the power of the 7 mythical and magical Chaos Emeralds to shatter the earth into 7 pieces,thus trying to awaken the powerful Dark Gaia who has been sleeping inside the Earth for thousands of years. Sonic fails to do this as Eggman drains the energy from the Chaos Emeralds, turning Sonic into a more beast-like version of himself. Sonic is then sent back towards Earth, where he crash lands on Chip, a little guy who has seemed to have lost his memory.
God that was long.
Now, onto the actual theories. Many people say that Sonic shouldn't have survived being in space for that long, but I have come up with a theory even bigger then that: We all would have died in the first thirty seconds of the game. Let me explain.
After carefully reading the game guide (the little book you get when you buy the game), it states that Sonic traveled to the Stratosphere to try and stop Dr. Eggman. But, after watching the opening movie of the game, I found out that Sonic is actually in the Thermosphere, seeing that Eggman's fleet was floating in space. How Sonic got all the way up there, we'll never know.
Either way, Sonic shouldn't have been able to breath, much less do anything else.
Then there's when Sonic is ejected from Eggman's ship and is sent falling towards Earth. No matter what height, Sonic should have burned up before hitting the planet. Falling from such a height of over 10 miles should have caused friction to form heat, thus causing him caught fire. So instead of looking like this:
He should be looking like this:
Now, onto the main theory: would we be able to survive? Like the game said, the Earth was split into 7 pieces.
Here's a picture. See, broken like an space egg. I did the research and, as it turns out, we all should have been dead in the first 30 seconds of the game. As we all know, the world is said to be in the perfect spot in our universe. It's in the perfect position where it's not to hot and not to cold. It's perfectly balanced. Now, let's say that the world was split into 2 pieces, much less seven. People say that we would be able to survive this, but I naturally say
If the world where to be split like that, the atmosphere would dissolve. 30 seconds and we would all pass out. Another minute, and we would all have died from suffocation. So would Sonic. Plus, with the planet spit, the pieces would be pulled toward the moon and Venus, our neighboring planet, cause pieces to go on a crash course to destruction of the entire solar system. Congrats Eggman! You've officially screwed us all! How happy are you now?!
In conclusion, this is exactly why Sega logic always makes me lose sleep at night. Not even Sonic in his most powerful form would be able to save us all in such a short amount of time. So, there you have it. Conte, get the cannons because we have to blast this idiot from the sky!
That's all for now! This is BlackStar, logging off!
next week: skyloft, the falling island